What Did Your Child Learn on Election Day?

As the election results rolled in on Tuesday I began to see comments on Facebook that I found very disturbing.  Let me set this up a bit. 

I come from a well to do upwardly mobile middle class family.  My parents are educated people who value self-reliance, independence and, yes, education.  They attended my parent-teacher conferences, bought me a clarinet for band, and made sure I did my homework.  They were diligent in seeing me equipped socially, emotionally, economically and physically to survive, even thrive, in the world.

Now, let me tell you about a woman I know.  We'll call her B.  I know this woman because I am the Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for her children as they are in the foster care system.  B does not know her father.  Her mother told her long ago that she was conceived through a rape in a bar and her father is unknown.  Her mother berates her constantly for her inadequacies as a person and parent.  B does not have a drivers license.  She is able to read and write reasonably well but the math requirements kept her from graduating High School or achieving her GED.  She works in fast food restaurants but must always live near her place of employment and her childcare (this is what comes of no drivers license).  She is not equipped socially, emotionally, economically or physically to survive or thrive.....her children suffer for it. 

The question I have for you is this:  What is the difference between myself and B?  My answer is this: An accident of birth.  I was born into a family that nurtured and loved me....she was not.  I was born into a family that wanted me to succeed and had the resources to see it done.....she was not.  I have people I can turn to in times of need or distress....she does not. 

Don't talk to me about people who succeed in places where they should not be able to do so (Oprah Winfrey comes to mind).  I can match those with people who fail in places where they should have succeeded (does the name Dylan Klebold ring any bells?).  I have no patience for that.  I want to know this: who are we to judge?  I'm sorry if that sounds harsh or...judgmental but there is one judge and we are not He. 

So, what's a child of God to do?  Jesus said it well, "Love God and love others".  If every action you take and every word from your mouth does not fulfill these commands you need to rethink and repent. 

I wrote this a week ago and sat on it because I was not calm enough to post it......looked at it again today and didn't change a word.

What Would Your Child Do?

Before you read on, watch the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOlpdd7y8MI

Now, consider what your child would do under the same circumstances.  I am not suggesting you do this to see what would happen.  I'm not a proponent of lying to your child....even for the sake of comedy (and some of it is pretty funny, you have to admit) or pulling practical jokes on children.  They aren't able to understand and process the experience.  From their perspective a parent stole something that didn't belong to them and then lied about it....we try to teach our children that these are wrong behaviors.  Our lessons go somewhat out the window when we display these wrong behaviors.....even for Larry Kimbell. 

The question remains, though, what do you suppose your child would do under similar circumstances?  If I had one of the children that had thrown a fit, or an object, or a raspberry, or engaged in a little name calling I would be too embarrassed to send in the video.  I would hope that my kids would be like the ones near the end of the video.  How precious were they??  Beyond precious!

But, I'm not so sure what my kids would have done.  And, this begs the question of nature versus nurture.  Some kids are just born more sanguine....mellow....not so easily ruffled.  Some kids come out of the womb barely suppressed volcanoes of energy and emotion.  I know this from personal experience.  So, the kids that threw a fit....are they born that way?  The one's that took the news well.....are they born that way?  Or did their parents raise them....nurture them....to have those reactions?

I think it's a bit of both.  Children are born wired a certain way....of that I am sure.  Parents have a responsibility to shape and mold children.  Certain behaviors are unacceptable no matter the circumstances and those "barely suppressed volcanoes" have to be worked with a bit more than the others.  But, no matter what, there are ways in which we are not allowed to act.....I'm sure you can pick those out in the video. 

Another thing I'm fairly sure of.....the children that were accepting, sweet and loving about the situation had seen that modelled at home.  That kind of behavior is more caught than taught and those kids had caught some grace and mercy somewhere along the way.