Abilene, happy birthdays, Sing Song and Peter Pan...those were some of my experiences this last weekend. We were in Abilene for Sing Song. Ryan's club, Gamma Sigma Phi, were Peter Pans and won first place for their efforts. They were wonderful! So much of this weekend turned my thoughts to thankfulness for God's blessings.
Sunday was Ryan's 21st birthday. It was so much fun to be with him and spend the weekend watching him be the man he is becoming. This is a person who never meets a stranger. Open and outgoing, Ryan is a friend to many. It's difficult to walk about anywhere in Abilene that Ryan doesn't see someone he knows well enough to hug. He is a loving and gregarious and passionate young man. A joy to spend time with and fun in conversation, Ryan is a person a parent would be proud of and we are!! He is that rare person who is serious about the serious things in life (i.e. his grades and his relationships) but balanced enough to know how to have fun.
We almost lost Ryan at his birth. There was some birthing trauma and his heartbeat was ominously silent for what seemed an eternity. I have never been more frightened. On top of that, we had experienced two miscarriages before becoming pregnant with Ryan. We fought hard for this child and we were not prepared to lose him. We have always considered his healthy delivery and childhood a blessing from God for which we have been very grateful. It seems natural to also thank God for the extraordinary man he is becoming.
We love you Ryan and we thank God for the blessing you are to our lives.
Mom and Dad
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
February 15th
Today is my son's birthday. Unbelievably, he is 23 today. I remember the day he was born. I woke up early having labor pains. We went for a walk because we had been told that true labor worsened when you walked. After about half of a block we turned around and headed for home. I showered, picked up my bag, and headed to the hospital. On the way there I remember thinking, "we've waited too late...I'm going to have this baby in the car!!".
After arriving at the hospital and checking in it was just a matter of waiting through the labor. He was born about 3:30 that afternoon. We didn't know if we were having a boy or girl so I remember vividly the nurse saying, "it's a boy!" He was perfection and we couldn't have been happier.
Today, he is a college student at University of Texas. His major is Middle Eastern Studies. He has taught himself to play several musical instruments and speak several languages. He is idealistic and hopes to impact our world for peace. He is a person to be reckoned with and we are immensely proud of him. Sometimes I look at him and wonder how we could be so fortunate. Every time I look at him I am filled with wonder at the blessing he is in our lives. I thank God for the true blessing of being his parent.
Happy Birthday, Adam!!
Mom
After arriving at the hospital and checking in it was just a matter of waiting through the labor. He was born about 3:30 that afternoon. We didn't know if we were having a boy or girl so I remember vividly the nurse saying, "it's a boy!" He was perfection and we couldn't have been happier.
Today, he is a college student at University of Texas. His major is Middle Eastern Studies. He has taught himself to play several musical instruments and speak several languages. He is idealistic and hopes to impact our world for peace. He is a person to be reckoned with and we are immensely proud of him. Sometimes I look at him and wonder how we could be so fortunate. Every time I look at him I am filled with wonder at the blessing he is in our lives. I thank God for the true blessing of being his parent.
Happy Birthday, Adam!!
Mom
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Parenting Advice from Miriam Holder
Miriam's son, Eric, is quite the accomplished man. A Columbia Law School graduate and former judge he was known as Judge Hold 'Em by defense attorneys for his refusal to allow bail for clients accused of violent crimes. His appointment in the D.C. Superior Court put him on the front line of the battle against drug and gang violence in our nation's capital. His reputation was one of more leniency for criminals who accepted responsibility for their crimes. Defendants who were found guilty often found the maximum penalty. Eric Holder, Jr. is our new Attorney General. His brother, Billy, is no slacker either. Billy Holder is a New York City Port Authority Officer.
How does a mother raise two boys like these? A Time magazine article about Eric Holder gives a few clues in quotes from his mother. He grew up in Queens, NY where pulling the fire alarm was a common teen prank. Nearly everyone did it but not Eric, the churchgoing Boy Scout who knew the consequence of disobeying rules: "A good, quick smack on the bottom," his mother Miriam recall. "If you did something wrong, you're going to pay the price." Later in the article Miriam Holder is quoted as saying, "We taught them to help where you can and right the wrongs that you see." Sound advice.
Kathy
How does a mother raise two boys like these? A Time magazine article about Eric Holder gives a few clues in quotes from his mother. He grew up in Queens, NY where pulling the fire alarm was a common teen prank. Nearly everyone did it but not Eric, the churchgoing Boy Scout who knew the consequence of disobeying rules: "A good, quick smack on the bottom," his mother Miriam recall. "If you did something wrong, you're going to pay the price." Later in the article Miriam Holder is quoted as saying, "We taught them to help where you can and right the wrongs that you see." Sound advice.
Kathy
Monday, February 9, 2009
What's a Mother To Do?
What's a mother to do? Your daughter is 12 going on 13 and all of a sudden she knows everything, you know nothing and you are the uncoolest person on the planet. It's a common scenario, I think.
I have to say that I've been very fortunate in this regard. My daughter and I haven't had much mother-daughter conflict. According to "The Five Love Languages" if your daughter's love language is "quality time", you probably won't have many of these issues. Leah's favorite thing in the world is a "Mommy and Me Day" so she never shut me out. Knowing your child's love language may help you be truly heard.
Dr. Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages" describes different ways in which people perceive love. Some experts say communication is key to parenting. If so, communicating your love for your kids is the most important key of all. Besides quality time, Dr. Chapman identifies gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. Most of these categories are self explanatory but if you want more info you can Google "The Five Love Languages for Teens". I have found these concepts helpful in raising four very different children.
Other minor notions: take advice from the Galaxy Quest crew "never give up, never surrender". Don't take what they say personally. Know, without doubt, they want you to love them so keep saying it.
Kathy
I have to say that I've been very fortunate in this regard. My daughter and I haven't had much mother-daughter conflict. According to "The Five Love Languages" if your daughter's love language is "quality time", you probably won't have many of these issues. Leah's favorite thing in the world is a "Mommy and Me Day" so she never shut me out. Knowing your child's love language may help you be truly heard.
Dr. Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages" describes different ways in which people perceive love. Some experts say communication is key to parenting. If so, communicating your love for your kids is the most important key of all. Besides quality time, Dr. Chapman identifies gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. Most of these categories are self explanatory but if you want more info you can Google "The Five Love Languages for Teens". I have found these concepts helpful in raising four very different children.
Other minor notions: take advice from the Galaxy Quest crew "never give up, never surrender". Don't take what they say personally. Know, without doubt, they want you to love them so keep saying it.
Kathy
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Wisdom from Marian Wright Edelman
Marian Wright Edelman is one of my heroes. I had the privilege of hearing her speak several months ago. Her passion for children and justice was a wonder to behold. Ms. Edelman was the first African American lawyer admitted to the bar in Mississippi and is a long time civil rights activist. In 1973 she founded the Children's Defense Fund, an organization that serves as an advocate and voice for poor, minority and handicapped children. Her life is a testimony to service and I admire her enormously.
She has said many things that I find to be truth but today this one really sticks with me:
"If you as parents cut corners, your children will too. If you lie, they will too. If you spend all your money on yourselves and tithe no portion of it for charities, colleges, churches, synagogues, and civic causes, your children won't either. And if parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out."
I've said many times that it takes courage to be a parent. It would seem as though Marian Wright Edelman agrees.
Kathy
She has said many things that I find to be truth but today this one really sticks with me:
"If you as parents cut corners, your children will too. If you lie, they will too. If you spend all your money on yourselves and tithe no portion of it for charities, colleges, churches, synagogues, and civic causes, your children won't either. And if parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out."
I've said many times that it takes courage to be a parent. It would seem as though Marian Wright Edelman agrees.
Kathy
Monday, February 2, 2009
Family Traditions
Traditions are very important to children. Have you experienced the following? You do something once and it becomes that thing we "always do". One year we made and decorated cut out cookies before Christmas. The next year the kids bugged me to death to make those "cookies we always make". One way we know traditions are important is kids are so invested in seeing them continue.
When I was growing up my mom made a very big deal out of holidays. She still does. Her house is decorated in pumpkins and scarecrows for Halloween, red hearts for Valentine's Day, pastel eggs for Easter and flags for the Fourth of July. Everyone decorates for Christmas but my mom puts up shamrocks and served us green oatmeal on St. Patrick's Day. She believes in celebrating!
One Valentine's Day, when I was a snarky teenager, we had wrapped presents on our breakfast plates along with decorative napkins. I asked the following question as only a teenager can ask, "If the Easter Bunny brings Easter baskets, who brings the Valentine's presents?" My dad, at the top of his game, quickly replied, "The Valentine's Cow, of course". The Valentine Cow visited us for many years after that and continued to visit us when I had children of my own.
One day this week the Valentine's Cow will buy candy and cards. She'll make cookies and pack everything in boxes to send to our college boys. My daughter's gift has already been purchased. Celebrations and traditions are important. You have them, too. Think about what they are, talk about them and celebrate the things that make your family unique. A Valentine's Cow is pretty unique and while I'm not sure I appreciate the bovine reference, I am happy to continue the tradition.
Kathy
When I was growing up my mom made a very big deal out of holidays. She still does. Her house is decorated in pumpkins and scarecrows for Halloween, red hearts for Valentine's Day, pastel eggs for Easter and flags for the Fourth of July. Everyone decorates for Christmas but my mom puts up shamrocks and served us green oatmeal on St. Patrick's Day. She believes in celebrating!
One Valentine's Day, when I was a snarky teenager, we had wrapped presents on our breakfast plates along with decorative napkins. I asked the following question as only a teenager can ask, "If the Easter Bunny brings Easter baskets, who brings the Valentine's presents?" My dad, at the top of his game, quickly replied, "The Valentine's Cow, of course". The Valentine Cow visited us for many years after that and continued to visit us when I had children of my own.
One day this week the Valentine's Cow will buy candy and cards. She'll make cookies and pack everything in boxes to send to our college boys. My daughter's gift has already been purchased. Celebrations and traditions are important. You have them, too. Think about what they are, talk about them and celebrate the things that make your family unique. A Valentine's Cow is pretty unique and while I'm not sure I appreciate the bovine reference, I am happy to continue the tradition.
Kathy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)