Once again, sorry to have been away for so long. Here is my excuse: my son got married 11 days before Christmas, then we had Christmas, and a short sabbatical (which wasn't really very sabbatically). Anyway, I'm back and I have a few things to say. No one that knows remotely anything about me will be shocked by this statement.
Have you seen the video making the Internet circuit about the three worst words you can say to your son? I'll try to add a link on this post but if I fail just google "the most damaging words you can tell your son". It'll pop.
There is a lot said about feminism and gender equality so sometimes the message of this video can be lost but it is profoundly true that there is another side to this equation. Patriarchal notions of masculinity hurt men and it starts when they are little boys. "Be a man" we say. "Don't cry" we tell them. "Suck it up" we go on....and on....and on. We deny them the chance to tell what they feel and force them to stuff all that emotion down their gullets. It's no wonder there is so much anger in young men. What are we teaching as the definition of "manhood"? What is a real man? This, of course, is up for debate but I'll step up and tell you my opinion. (once again, unsurprising to anyone that knows me)
Real men care. They care deeply and they show it. Their actions and words display an empathy for others that is unrestrained. They take care of small children, change diapers, bath their babies, play with with them and sing them to sleep. They care that their wives are worn out and they step up to do what they can to relieve her stress. They care about being part of the team that is their family and they do their part as a part of that team. A lot of people care but real men show they care.
Real men share. They share their strength and their weaknesses. They share their feelings and are unashamed. They share their wealth, their giftedness, and themselves. They share who they are...unmasked and real. It isn't always pretty when someone shares themselves, unmasked and unashamed, but real men do it because they care.
Real men dare. They dare to be who they are. They cry when they pray. They laugh when they goof up. They openly admit when they are shy or embarrassed or feeling great or what ever it is they feel. They dare to be people of integrity and justice. Real men step up to be who they were meant to be.
Where do real men come from? They come from families that raise them that way and often from fathers that are real men. I realize this is a lot of pressure on moms and dads but that's the deal. You are raising the next generation of men and women. Think before you speak. Consider before you act. Pray all the time.
