Old Dogs CAN Learn New Tricks

I went to a conference this week and learned some new things....actually a lot of new things and I'll be sharing my new learnings soon.  But I really wanted to show off this (look up).  I did this on a very cool website called www.wordle.net.  You put a bunch of words in the block and it makes these really coolio pictures.  I needed a lot of help getting the picture (which was really an applet) off the page and onto my computer in a form I could use here but I did it.  I'm obsessed!!!!

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First

You know that moment on the airplane, just before they take off, when there's that very boring speech about how to buckle a seat belt (duh) and where the emergency exits are located?  At some point the flight attendant pulls out an oxygen mask and shows how to extend the rubbery headband that keeps it in place so you can place it over your mouth and nose.  Somewhere in there a very important point is made.  You must put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then help your children.  You must have oxygen before you can help others.  Imagine it.....the plane dips scarily, the masks drop down (due to a change in pressure or altitude or what ever the reason....like everyone else, I'm reading a magazine  when this is explained) and you panic.  You look around to be sure it's not just your oxygen mask that dropped.  You spend a little time asking "what's going on?!?!?"  And finally you remember that there is something you need to do with the mask.  Your kids need oxygen and you need to help them put the oxygen on but by this time you're feeling a little short of breath yourself and on the edge of passing out.  If you go down there will be no one to take care of your kids. 

I don't know about you but this is how I felt....frequently....when my kids were little.  The plane was shaky, the masks were dangling, I was trying to figure out what was going on and the edges of my vision were going black.  I was going down.

Here is what saved me....I learned to take care of myself.  I got sleep when I could.  I tried to eat healthy.  I asked others to step in when I needed a break.  I had friends I could count on to support me and understand me.  I wouldn't have made it without them (Sherry, you know what I'm talking about).  I tried to raise independent children that wouldn't be dragging on my hemline when they were twenty years old.  But mostly I just learned to be in tune with my own needs and I took care of me. 

Moms have a lot of pressure.....a lot on their plates.  You know those circus guys that spin plates?  Well, I am a master (mistress) spinner.  Sometimes you gotta have help spinning and sometimes you gotta be okay with a plate falling.  Sometimes you just lay one down and keep moving forward. 

The thing I want you to know is you are not alone.  Remember where your strength comes from.....sometimes a good strong cup of coffee and always from God.  (Philippians 4:13)

Parenting Wisdom from My Child

When my daughter was about 12 years old I asked her for some parenting wisdom.  You may find this odd but I was looking for some pithy little nonsense from a child that we could laugh over for a parenting class I was preparing.  This was not kind of me, I admit, but there you go.  Sometimes we aren't the best we could be.

What I got was no less than I deserved considering my attitude on asking.  My attitude was a  little snotty ("this should be rich" I thought) and what I got was really pearls of wisdom from an 12 year old.  Here you go:

1.  Respect your kids
              
2.  When you get angry, explain why you are angry

3.  Give your girls a break when they're having their periods (guess what we had been talking about in days prior)

4.  Love them the way they are

5.  Don't leave them in the park (not sure where this came from!)

6.  Don't be a hypocrite (this was followed by a very long discussion about parents that drink and smoke while telling their children not to drink and smoke)

7.  Love them (yes, she knew this was repetitive but she felt that it should be repeated since it is so important)

8.  If you leave town, leave someone with them

9.  The harder you are on your teenagers the looser they will be (by "looser" I think she meant out of control)

10.  You can't say, "he's just a kid".  You have to say, "that's my kid that just did that".  (I happen to love this one as I so often see people excusing bad behaviors)

I promise you she reeled these off just like I wrote them.  Personally I think this is gold.......

My Big Fat American Family Trip

Let me start off by saying the word "fat" is used in the 'lots of numbers' sense and not the 'lots of weight' sense.  There.  Now, let me tell you about my trip.  I went on a family trip for Christmas.  Last year we decided that rather than give a bunch of gifts we would go on a trip and "the experience would be the gift".  You can imagine how well that went over with the kids.

So, we left on the 22nd of December.  22 people travelled from Houston to Calgary, Alberta, Canada and were joined by 5 travelling from Los Angeles.  A few days later we were joined by 2 more making our total 29.  This trip was sponsored (and paid for) by the patriarch and matriarch of the family (my mom, Wanda, and my dad, Don).  They have four children who are all married (I'm the second child and oldest girl) and fourteen grandchildren.  You may be thinking that this only adds up to 24 and you would be right.  Two of those grandchildren are engaged to be married this Spring and two more have long term relationships.  That makes 28.  The 29th person (and perhaps the easiest to travel with and get along with) was Marilyn, my sister-in-law's mother.  She is 74 year old cancer survivor who spend two days on the ski slopes.  Amazing woman!

Now, you may be thinking "That's no bigger than your average tour group.  What's the big deal?" but I'll tell you that on a tour you are on your best behavior and someone else is directing the activities.  Imagine going on a vacation with 28 or your family members......just give that a moment to settle in your brain.  You can't walk into a restaurant anywhere and say, "Table for 29 please".  The madhouse potential is high.  And yet, we had few problems.  We ate, skied, played, slept, ate some more, shopped, toured and generally had a great time with very few issues....personally or vacationally.  (I realize that's not a word)

How does this happen?  Well, I'll tell you my theory.

1.  It's not about me.  You go with the knowledge that someone else is paying for this trip and you will do what they want to do.  Now, let me say that I would not do this with just anyone but these are my parents for goodness sake.  I trust them and know that they will provide a good time but I am one out of 29 people and the trip isn't about me.   Mr. Spock said it best, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one"

2.  We have a plan.  There was an agenda.  We had reservations each night for dinner.  We reserved ski equipment and sleigh rides.  We knew where we were to be at what time dressed to go where we were going.  We had built in free time and activity time.  We did some things as a big family (Curling lessons and tournament) and some things in smaller groups (lunch some days).  We had a nice mix of free/planned/all together/small group time but the point is there was a plan.

3.  We are flexible.  Sometimes that plan didn't quite work out.  Like the day we thought our dinner reservations were at 7:00 and discovered they were really at 4:15 (What is that about, Spaghetti Warehouse??).  Sometimes you have to be calm and make a new plan.  Flexibility is the key.

4.  We get along.  This is a family value and not just something we pull out on family vacation.  We believe in harmony.  That doesn't mean that people don't get annoyed or irritated.  They do.  But we don't let it get in the way of harmony and getting along.  When we were children our parents didn't let us fuss and fight with one another and we encourage harmony amongst our own kids.  We work out our differences and love one another above all else.  It's not perfect but it works for us and we all do get along pretty well.   

Quite honestly, I can't think of 29 other people I would rather vacation with....truly.