Well, she did it. She went and got married. She said she was going to do it. We prepped and planned and paid (the three P's of a wedding). On June 1st at 7:30 pm she and her dad walked down the aisle. She married that boy she'd been bringing around and it was beautiful. They were beautiful. And, I learned some very important things.
First, I learned that it really didn't matter how prepared we were (or weren't), the time rolled around and she was walking down that aisle. You do all you can to make it nice or elegant or good or whatever your criteria is but sooner or later you've done all you can do and it's happening. There's a life lesson there if we pay attention. Moments march on and inevitably you will find yourself in the critical moment, ready or not. I'm thankful to several people who encouraged me to enjoy each moment. "Live in this moment" was the best advice I was given as mother of the bride for it encouraged me to enjoy the day and not be too obsessed with tomorrow. Life was packed with activities starting about 5 pm Thursday until about 2 am Sunday. Being able to stop, sink into and enjoy the moment was priceless.
Second, I learned that if it takes a village to raise a child it takes a veritable city to pull off the wedding of my daughter's dreams. So many people came together to make her dream come true and I am humbled and amazed by them all. The photographer that she stalked since her freshman year in college, the DJ with the perfect music mix, the friends that stood with them, the brother and friend that sang for them, the brother that videoed them, the friends and family that came to celebrate with them, the wonderful family she married into that embraced and loved on her, the preacher and his perfect wedding ceremony, my sister and her trusty camera. I could go on and on but you get my drift. These are not things that you can do alone....planning, preparing, celebrating....all need the presence of others.
Third, I learned that I should trust my daughter more. She had a vision and I really didn't get it. I questioned her at nearly every turn. "Are you sure?"...."is this really what you want?"....."is this really going to work?" were questions I asked her often. She was confident and composed. I discovered early on that she had two main attitudes about wedding decisions. Either they mattered very much or not at all. She knew what she wanted and she got it.....often despite me and my "help". On the day of her wedding I saw that her vision was clear and realized. The venue was beautiful and she was stunning. The entire day was delightful and absolutely everything she had hoped it would be. I should have trusted her more.
Last, I learned that you are never too old to listen to your mom. The only glitch of the day, in my opinion, was this - at the reception there was no reserved seating for family. My mom and I had been in that room earlier in the day and she noticed the problem. Lots of beautiful tables and chairs....no reserved signs on any of them. "Where is the family going to sit?" she asked and suggested that I ask someone to set out some reserved signs. I thought this a good idea and intended to follow through but got distracted. It never got done. Family stayed after the ceremony to take pictures and the tables filled up with our guests. I wish I had been more intentional about following through with my mom's suggestion. You really are never too old to listen to your mom!
The last thing I want to say is for anyone reading this that has a child of any age. Even though you are probably overwhelmed and exhausted by parenting take a moment to enjoy your kids.....time will seriously fly by and you'll be watching your child walk down the aisle. I can tell you it's surreal and wonderful and bittersweet....all at the same time.
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