I know I just posted but this has to be said!
Last night my husband and I dined 'al fresco' (that means outside, in case you didn't know). We were surrounded by young people smoking cigarettes. They were all over 21 because they were also drinking but it was the cigarettes that bothered me.
I don't judge older people who smoke. After all, no one knew it was harmful or addictive for many years. During WWII the military gave cigarettes out in MREs, for goodness sake. People who started smoking years ago have my sympathy for I believe it is a powerful addiction.
People who start smoking now have my disgust, to be honest. Everyone knows that smoking is addictive and deadly. It ages you horribly, makes you breath stink and teeth yellow, and it's expensive. Young people who smoke really hack me off. Do they not realize that they are contributing to the pollution of our land with their butts and smoke? Do they not realize the future health problems they will burden society with? Have they not heard of the dangers of second and third hand smoke? I think these young people realize very well and they don't care.
What they care about is looking "cool". They blew smoke up in the air with a practiced nonchalance that made me want to walk over to their table, grab the cigarette out of their hand and smack 'em upside the head. What I really wanted to say is, "What are you thinking? Do you not realize what you are doing to your body and your health? Do you have the sense God gave you to give up this terrible habit that has absolutely no redeeming value? Are you just stupid?"
Fortunately, Jeff stopped me.
Kathy
Friday, March 27, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
How to Raise a Boy
We discussed this subject in our Life Group last night and I thought perhaps I might share a few of our musings. Our group consists of several families that have kindergarten age boys. In fact, one family has twin kindergarten age boys (whew!). These are busy people who are interested in raising healthy boys to become emotionally healthy men.
It is a fact that we raise boys and girls differently. Science has proven this in studies of infants and children. We are more apt to buy dolls for our girls and balls for our boys. When our daughters cry we comfort them. When our boys cry we dust them off and send them on their way. We often find that boys are raised with a limited range of acceptable emotions breeding men who do likewise.
As I write this I realize that this discussion is way too broad for a blog post so I'm just going to say this: Allow, no...encourage your sons to experience all of the emotions that being human brings. Love, attention and an atmosphere of acceptance for all that they feel will bear fruit during their teenage years. If they know you will listen, really and truly listen, they will talk.
And never doubt that they have much to say!
Kathy
It is a fact that we raise boys and girls differently. Science has proven this in studies of infants and children. We are more apt to buy dolls for our girls and balls for our boys. When our daughters cry we comfort them. When our boys cry we dust them off and send them on their way. We often find that boys are raised with a limited range of acceptable emotions breeding men who do likewise.
As I write this I realize that this discussion is way too broad for a blog post so I'm just going to say this: Allow, no...encourage your sons to experience all of the emotions that being human brings. Love, attention and an atmosphere of acceptance for all that they feel will bear fruit during their teenage years. If they know you will listen, really and truly listen, they will talk.
And never doubt that they have much to say!
Kathy
Friday, March 13, 2009
Be Afraid....be very afraid
Close your eyes and imagine your child on his or her 16th birthday. What do you think they will be doing on that day? I can tell what all four of my children were doing and I still remember it with fear. Each of them were standing in the DMV waiting to get their driver's license. Isn't that a sobering thought? Your child will, one day, get behind the wheel of a car...your car....and drive it down the road to places you won't be. Awkward sentence, I realize, but you get my drift.
Now, it is true that they get their learners permit on their 15th birthday and you have all year to drive with them so that you can teach and help them but that still doesn't really prepare you to see your treasure drive away in your car. Seriously, it's a moment you won't forget. So think of it, your child who can't remember his homework or think to clean her room or realize the dog needs to be fed will drive one day. Life, limb, and your car on the line.
What's a parent to do? Realize, right now, that your child needs to be taught a sense of responsibility and to think of others. They need to be made responsible for their own messes and be encouraged to respect authority. You need to set a good model in this respect as you live and drive. They are watching you!
Once again, begin with the end in mind. You want a respectful, responsible, disciplined driver? You need to work on those attributes when they are toddlers. Talk about them, model them, encourage and reinforce them. That's how you get responsible drivers....and lower insurance rates.
Kathy
Now, it is true that they get their learners permit on their 15th birthday and you have all year to drive with them so that you can teach and help them but that still doesn't really prepare you to see your treasure drive away in your car. Seriously, it's a moment you won't forget. So think of it, your child who can't remember his homework or think to clean her room or realize the dog needs to be fed will drive one day. Life, limb, and your car on the line.
What's a parent to do? Realize, right now, that your child needs to be taught a sense of responsibility and to think of others. They need to be made responsible for their own messes and be encouraged to respect authority. You need to set a good model in this respect as you live and drive. They are watching you!
Once again, begin with the end in mind. You want a respectful, responsible, disciplined driver? You need to work on those attributes when they are toddlers. Talk about them, model them, encourage and reinforce them. That's how you get responsible drivers....and lower insurance rates.
Kathy
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Not Sure What I Did....
I think I edited one too many times and my blog rebelled. Lesson? Blogs, as with children, need consistency and a sure hand. Wowser!
The Sweet Spot
Think about your primary relationship. All of our relationships are important, certainly, but some take precedence. So, which of your relationships is the most important?
I was in Abilene at Homecoming one weekend in October. Jeff was unable to join us as he was travelling overseas on business. He had been gone the entire week before we left and was due to return on Saturday. We were driving home from Abilene on Sunday. Saturday afternoon it occurred to me that he was going to be home and I was going to be 7 hours away. Suddenly, I was desperate to be home. I turned to my children (who attend school in Abilene) and said, "Would it be terrible of me to go home this afternoon? I really miss your dad". Taylor looked affronted and replied, "Do you love him more than you love us?"
Well, my mouth said, "of course, I love you all" but my mind was thinking, "YES, you left me, as you should, and he never will". It started me thinking about the primary relationships in my life. My children, my parents and extended family, my friends are all very important to me but my spouse is my primary relationship. He is the one who fills my life with joy and laughter and peace. He is the other half of my heart and my home. He is the person who loves and forgives me the most. I shudder to think what my life would have been like without him and I thank God, every day, that he is mine.
When our second son left for college it occurred to us that we gave birth to four children in five years and we will lose them all in five years. In August of 2004 we had four children at home and in September of 2009 we will have none. In light of that, I cannot tell you how happy I am that my primary relationship is thriving. While our children will grow up and move on, as they should do, we will continue to love and grow together. This is what we call "the sweet spot" :)
Kathy
I was in Abilene at Homecoming one weekend in October. Jeff was unable to join us as he was travelling overseas on business. He had been gone the entire week before we left and was due to return on Saturday. We were driving home from Abilene on Sunday. Saturday afternoon it occurred to me that he was going to be home and I was going to be 7 hours away. Suddenly, I was desperate to be home. I turned to my children (who attend school in Abilene) and said, "Would it be terrible of me to go home this afternoon? I really miss your dad". Taylor looked affronted and replied, "Do you love him more than you love us?"
Well, my mouth said, "of course, I love you all" but my mind was thinking, "YES, you left me, as you should, and he never will". It started me thinking about the primary relationships in my life. My children, my parents and extended family, my friends are all very important to me but my spouse is my primary relationship. He is the one who fills my life with joy and laughter and peace. He is the other half of my heart and my home. He is the person who loves and forgives me the most. I shudder to think what my life would have been like without him and I thank God, every day, that he is mine.
When our second son left for college it occurred to us that we gave birth to four children in five years and we will lose them all in five years. In August of 2004 we had four children at home and in September of 2009 we will have none. In light of that, I cannot tell you how happy I am that my primary relationship is thriving. While our children will grow up and move on, as they should do, we will continue to love and grow together. This is what we call "the sweet spot" :)
Kathy
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