Is "Teenager" a Bad Word?

One day I was driving down the street with my four small children in the car and one of them asked me a rather surprising question. He said, "Mommy, is teenager a bad word?" I guess I'd been driving around snarling "teenager" at every bad driver I came upon. The way I pronounced the word made it sound bad. That was before I had teenagers.

At this juncture I have to say that I have not had bad teenagers. At 23, 21, 19, and 17 I admit that I'm not completely out of the woods, but I'm close. I can see the edge of the treeline, certainly, and I can say that they are really good kids. So, how did this happen? Here is what I think.

We started when they were very young. When the baby was born, the oldest was only 5, so we were outnumbered and overwhelmed. Survival required clear rules and consistent boundaries. We paid close attention to what we said and what they did and we required obedience. As they got older, we loosened our grips a bit. They knew what we expected and they pretty much delivered, needing fewer reminders of the rules and boundaries. Because we had been clear and consistent when they were young, they were able to manage the boundaries themselves as they got older. They knew what it meant to be a Cameron and they didn't disappoint.

As they grew we began to see them as individual people with worth all their own. They aren't mini-me's or meant to robotically obey our every command. We value them for who they are and what they bring to the table that is our family. Today they live (three of them away at college) and move within the broader values that we established when they were very young. Although they are becoming independent, they are still an integral part of our family even today; apart but still a part if you know what I mean.

Sometimes it feels as though we've arrived at this wonderful place with our children in a serendipitous way. We're not sure how we got here or how they turned out so wonderful. On the other hand, there must be something to what we did and that is what I want to share. Our goal was to raise children who would become Godly, independent and joyful. As best as I can figure it we began with the end in mind.

Kathy