Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Parenting is not for weaklings

"Be the parent" is the best parenting advice I can give. So many people don't want to do what it takes to "be the parent". What does that mean? Well, in practice, it means that you are clear and precise about what they should do and you are willing to do what it takes to get them to do it. That is a very long sentence so let me give you a scenario.

I'm walking down the street and there is a woman walking behind me. Her child runs ahead so that I am between the mother and the child as we walk. The child is approaching a street and the mom, in a very soft and uncertain voice says, "stop and wait for me". The child, of course, keeps running. The mom begins to move a bit quicker and says a bit louder, "I said stop and wait for me." I move to the side so she has room to get to the child but that's not necessary because she isn't making an effort to get there. She just continues to beg the child to stop running. She even adds the word "please". Becoming more and more ineffective as she begs the child to stop. He finally stops at the curb; not because he is listening but because he has been trained not to run out in the street and for this I am thankful. It would have been bad to see that precious child smeared on the street while his mother pleaded with him to stop. So, what would I like to see happen?

Kid runs down the sidewalk. Mom assertively and with forcefulness says, "STOP RIGHT NOW". When kid doesn't stop, mom runs ahead and grabs him getting down on his level and in his face saying, "you must always listen for my voice and obey me." Big hugs all the way around and hand holding as they cross the street.

Step up and be the parent!

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