It is difficult to know where to begin in describing this delicious movie. First, let me say take a tissue! I cried throughout the movie and tears really flowed on three separate occasions. These were tears of sadness only once and, parents be warned, there is a very sad scene early on in the movie. The other tears came because my heart was touched.
This movie is about adventure, loss, friendship, love in many forms, and very distractible dogs. It will make you laugh, think and cry. All four of my children reported tears (and three of them are boys in their 20's!). It isn't really appropriate for very young children. There are intense scenes of danger and some violence - the bad guy shoots at the good guys with a shotgun - but all in all it is a fine movie with many valuable lessons for those old enough to understand.
At its heart "Up" is about knowing that the journey is the thing and not the destination. The friends and loved ones we gain and lose along the way are what make the journey enjoyable. I loved the movie but you'll need to pardon me now because I need to go blot my eyes and wipe my nose.
Kathy
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Help! My kid is mad at me!
What is the job of a parent? If there were a job description, which there isn't, it would be too complex to follow. Parents must be many things but nowhere does it say that I should be my kids friend. It also doesn't say that I should strive to make them happy all the time and especially happy with me. In fact, sometimes it is precisely the job of a parent to say and do things that may make our children upset with us.
I have a friend whose daughter wants a Facebook page and he is opposed. You may be asking yourself what is wrong with that because your child has a Facebook page (doesn't everyone?) but he is opposed because his child is not yet the approved age by Facebook. Facebook says that you can't have a page until you are 13 and this dad believes that following the rules is important. He's trying to set the right example and teach his daughter that rules need to be followed. She, as you might expect, is throwing all of the typical pre-teen/teen cliches at him. "All of my friends have one"...."no one follows those stupid rules"....."you're ruining my social life"...etc. If you are a parent I'm sure you can imagine what life must be like for my friend.
So, what's a dad to do? I've encouraged him to stand firm. If following the rules is one of your values (and it should be) then stick with it. Children really do want boundaries. They want parents to care enough to make rules. They may bitterly complain but they still want to know that you fight for their best welfare.
Some of my favorite parenting advice goes like this: "BE THE PARENT!" That is precisely what he's doing.
Kathy
I have a friend whose daughter wants a Facebook page and he is opposed. You may be asking yourself what is wrong with that because your child has a Facebook page (doesn't everyone?) but he is opposed because his child is not yet the approved age by Facebook. Facebook says that you can't have a page until you are 13 and this dad believes that following the rules is important. He's trying to set the right example and teach his daughter that rules need to be followed. She, as you might expect, is throwing all of the typical pre-teen/teen cliches at him. "All of my friends have one"...."no one follows those stupid rules"....."you're ruining my social life"...etc. If you are a parent I'm sure you can imagine what life must be like for my friend.
So, what's a dad to do? I've encouraged him to stand firm. If following the rules is one of your values (and it should be) then stick with it. Children really do want boundaries. They want parents to care enough to make rules. They may bitterly complain but they still want to know that you fight for their best welfare.
Some of my favorite parenting advice goes like this: "BE THE PARENT!" That is precisely what he's doing.
Kathy
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Jon and Kate
This Jon and Kate thing is really bothering me. If you've been stuck on a desert island for the last few months you may not know what I'm talking about but I'll bet most of you do. Jon and Kate of "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" fame are having serious marital problems. There are lots of reasons for this and many opinions on what to do about it. Just google "Jon and Kate" and you can read most of what's out there. Lots of vitriol, buckets of sarcasm, and a ton of opinion. I'm sure most of what is reported as "fact" is really not true but I know what I heard from their lips and that is why I'm bothered.
Last night on their season opener they discussed their maritial difficulties...sort of. They didn't say much but what they did say really bugged! Kate said that she got up in the morning for her kids, breathed for her kids, stayed for her kids and did everything for her kids. Jon said much the same thing just not as dramatically. I think his words were "I'm here". They both reiterated that they would do anything for their children who are their priority.
On the surface these are fine words and sentiments but underneath the surface these words are representative of what their problem really is. They haven't put their own relationship first. Some other thing or things has preceded their relationship on their "Truly Important Things" list.
Now I'm not going to say what I think they should do because I'm not them and I don't live their life. However, I am going to say they should figure out how to put each other and the relationship they've formed back at the top of that list. That is what will be best for those children that are their priority. Children are important, special, prized, etc etc etc but they will grow up one day and leave you. If you play your cards right, your spouse never will. If you play your cards really well you won't want them to.
Kathy
Last night on their season opener they discussed their maritial difficulties...sort of. They didn't say much but what they did say really bugged! Kate said that she got up in the morning for her kids, breathed for her kids, stayed for her kids and did everything for her kids. Jon said much the same thing just not as dramatically. I think his words were "I'm here". They both reiterated that they would do anything for their children who are their priority.
On the surface these are fine words and sentiments but underneath the surface these words are representative of what their problem really is. They haven't put their own relationship first. Some other thing or things has preceded their relationship on their "Truly Important Things" list.
Now I'm not going to say what I think they should do because I'm not them and I don't live their life. However, I am going to say they should figure out how to put each other and the relationship they've formed back at the top of that list. That is what will be best for those children that are their priority. Children are important, special, prized, etc etc etc but they will grow up one day and leave you. If you play your cards right, your spouse never will. If you play your cards really well you won't want them to.
Kathy
Monday, May 11, 2009
Mother's Day Debacle?
Mother's Day is a holiday with high expectations. It is the one day a year when a mom can be honored just because she is a mom. Breakfast in bed, wonderful gifts and words of love all factor into my personal Mother's Day fantasies. Mostly in that order.
Reality, however, is another matter all together. Reality is we stayed up very late the night before (don't ask) and woke up exhausted. Leah sang on praise team so she had to get to church early. She put blueberry muffins in the oven before she went to church so her dad delivered one as I was throwing on my clothes.
Taylor's idea of the perfect Mother's Day gift is a bear hug (not that I disagree). Adam couldn't come because he has finals the week after Mother's Day and he needed to study but he did call. Ryan told me in advance that although he was through with finals he had much to do and wasn't into "that whole Mother's Day thing anyway". He was kidding.....I think. As a final blow to the day, I had planned and prepared a lunch for my mom and dad but they got sick and stayed home. I confess that I shed a few tears over the way the day was progressing and it was only noon!
The rest of the day began to look up as my brother and his family came for lunch. We had a wonderful time of eating, laughing and reminiscing. We went to Tomball to visit my mother-in-law who has Alzheimer's and lives in a nursing home. Taking the time to feed her and sit with her reminded me of how blessed I have been to have her as a second mother. Upon returning home we discovered that Ryan was there to surprise me! Another big hug for a Mother's Day present and the day was nearly complete. We wrapped up the day with a movie. "Star Trek" was awesome!
So, what did I learn? Several things: 1. a day is a very long piece of time and it can be ruined and made anew several times throughout its course 2. children will do what children will do and it is best to love them just as God gave them to us and 3. Mother's Day isn't as important as actually being a mother and I'm an outrageously blessed mother.
Kathy
Reality, however, is another matter all together. Reality is we stayed up very late the night before (don't ask) and woke up exhausted. Leah sang on praise team so she had to get to church early. She put blueberry muffins in the oven before she went to church so her dad delivered one as I was throwing on my clothes.
Taylor's idea of the perfect Mother's Day gift is a bear hug (not that I disagree). Adam couldn't come because he has finals the week after Mother's Day and he needed to study but he did call. Ryan told me in advance that although he was through with finals he had much to do and wasn't into "that whole Mother's Day thing anyway". He was kidding.....I think. As a final blow to the day, I had planned and prepared a lunch for my mom and dad but they got sick and stayed home. I confess that I shed a few tears over the way the day was progressing and it was only noon!
The rest of the day began to look up as my brother and his family came for lunch. We had a wonderful time of eating, laughing and reminiscing. We went to Tomball to visit my mother-in-law who has Alzheimer's and lives in a nursing home. Taking the time to feed her and sit with her reminded me of how blessed I have been to have her as a second mother. Upon returning home we discovered that Ryan was there to surprise me! Another big hug for a Mother's Day present and the day was nearly complete. We wrapped up the day with a movie. "Star Trek" was awesome!
So, what did I learn? Several things: 1. a day is a very long piece of time and it can be ruined and made anew several times throughout its course 2. children will do what children will do and it is best to love them just as God gave them to us and 3. Mother's Day isn't as important as actually being a mother and I'm an outrageously blessed mother.
Kathy
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Children who are friends
There is a big dilemma at out house. Actually, not at our house proper but this dilemma is taking place in four different homes. Let me explain.
Our three sons, who all attend college away from home, would like to take a trip together. Ryan, a certifiable Disney freak, wants to go to DisneyWorld (natch!). Adam, wants to visit his Aunt Shari and Uncle Scott in LA and go to DisneyLand (he's not opposed to Disney, you see). Taylor just wants to go somewhere since he got an airline ticket for Christmas and it's burning a hole in his pocket. Timing is the issue.
Adam is only home for about three weeks. He will attend summer school to stay on schedule to graduate in December (yeah!) and will spend the bulk of his summer in Austin. He doesn't want to spend a third of the time he has at home in Florida. He'll be less busy in August and he wants to make the trip at that time. Ryan isn't much interested in heat and long lines (who is?) so he wants to go now. Taylor, as earlier stated, just wants to go.
I'm not sure what they'll decide....probably some sort of compromise that makes everyone a little happy but also a little ticked off. That is the nature of compromise and sibling relations. That actually isn't what has me so tickled.
I'm thrilled to see my boys want to do something together. They want to do it so much that they'll call, email, text and communicate until they find a plan that works for everyone. Adam and Ryan are both concerned about hurting or guilting the other. They are each deeply concerned for the other. Taylor will be happy when they just decide what to do.
When your kids are little and they're fighting and fussing, remember this: the patterns you set when they are little continue on as they grow up. Encouraging your children to think of the other person and his perspective will help them grow to be empathetic adults. Discouraging ugly behavior, name calling and physical fighting will help your children find other ways to deal with conflict. It is a small price to pay for the priceless reward of seeing your grown children plan a vacation together!
Kathy
Our three sons, who all attend college away from home, would like to take a trip together. Ryan, a certifiable Disney freak, wants to go to DisneyWorld (natch!). Adam, wants to visit his Aunt Shari and Uncle Scott in LA and go to DisneyLand (he's not opposed to Disney, you see). Taylor just wants to go somewhere since he got an airline ticket for Christmas and it's burning a hole in his pocket. Timing is the issue.
Adam is only home for about three weeks. He will attend summer school to stay on schedule to graduate in December (yeah!) and will spend the bulk of his summer in Austin. He doesn't want to spend a third of the time he has at home in Florida. He'll be less busy in August and he wants to make the trip at that time. Ryan isn't much interested in heat and long lines (who is?) so he wants to go now. Taylor, as earlier stated, just wants to go.
I'm not sure what they'll decide....probably some sort of compromise that makes everyone a little happy but also a little ticked off. That is the nature of compromise and sibling relations. That actually isn't what has me so tickled.
I'm thrilled to see my boys want to do something together. They want to do it so much that they'll call, email, text and communicate until they find a plan that works for everyone. Adam and Ryan are both concerned about hurting or guilting the other. They are each deeply concerned for the other. Taylor will be happy when they just decide what to do.
When your kids are little and they're fighting and fussing, remember this: the patterns you set when they are little continue on as they grow up. Encouraging your children to think of the other person and his perspective will help them grow to be empathetic adults. Discouraging ugly behavior, name calling and physical fighting will help your children find other ways to deal with conflict. It is a small price to pay for the priceless reward of seeing your grown children plan a vacation together!
Kathy
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