Children who are friends

There is a big dilemma at out house. Actually, not at our house proper but this dilemma is taking place in four different homes. Let me explain.

Our three sons, who all attend college away from home, would like to take a trip together. Ryan, a certifiable Disney freak, wants to go to DisneyWorld (natch!). Adam, wants to visit his Aunt Shari and Uncle Scott in LA and go to DisneyLand (he's not opposed to Disney, you see). Taylor just wants to go somewhere since he got an airline ticket for Christmas and it's burning a hole in his pocket. Timing is the issue.

Adam is only home for about three weeks. He will attend summer school to stay on schedule to graduate in December (yeah!) and will spend the bulk of his summer in Austin. He doesn't want to spend a third of the time he has at home in Florida. He'll be less busy in August and he wants to make the trip at that time. Ryan isn't much interested in heat and long lines (who is?) so he wants to go now. Taylor, as earlier stated, just wants to go.

I'm not sure what they'll decide....probably some sort of compromise that makes everyone a little happy but also a little ticked off. That is the nature of compromise and sibling relations. That actually isn't what has me so tickled.

I'm thrilled to see my boys want to do something together. They want to do it so much that they'll call, email, text and communicate until they find a plan that works for everyone. Adam and Ryan are both concerned about hurting or guilting the other. They are each deeply concerned for the other. Taylor will be happy when they just decide what to do.

When your kids are little and they're fighting and fussing, remember this: the patterns you set when they are little continue on as they grow up. Encouraging your children to think of the other person and his perspective will help them grow to be empathetic adults. Discouraging ugly behavior, name calling and physical fighting will help your children find other ways to deal with conflict. It is a small price to pay for the priceless reward of seeing your grown children plan a vacation together!

Kathy